


This Heart Will Not Erase You

by Bil1801



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fix-It, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23215987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bil1801/pseuds/Bil1801
Summary: Ten years apart can't erase the marks they left on each other's hearts. Ten years apart can't destroy the bond still stretching between them.Basically, just Supercorp identity-reveal angst with a happy or at least hopeful ending, because Season 5 is slowly killing me and i need a way to express my feelings.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85





	This Heart Will Not Erase You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what to say anymore, I was dying inside while writing this. And sorry if this got too political and I offended anyone, I just needed a plot-line to drive the story.

It’s only been ten years. And yet Kara’s heart still beats for her.

Ten long, lonely, excruciating years without her laugh, her smile, her voice, her touch. Kara can’t even hear her heartbeat anymore. Remembrances of her are dim, and fade with each passing day: the touch of her velvet fingertips, the warmth of her smile, the radiance of her laugh, the sparkle in her eyes, the way her lips felt pressed against Kara’s skin… and of course, the way she reserved that special tone of voice just for Kara, gentle and adoring.

Kara’s heart will forever be etched with memories of every word she ever spoke, every smile, every kiss, every single moment they shared together. Lena unintentionally and forever wove herself into the very fabric of Kara’s being, and living without her is like living without all of her limbs, no, worse, like living without her heart, the very thing that keeps her alive and moving. Except she does have a heart, resting in the cold, empty hollow of her chest, and it’s still almost too broken to beat.

Time is supposed to mend all wounds and heal all scars. And yet time hasn’t healed Kara’s, broken heart.

_ It’s dark, so dark in her apartment, and Kara is wrapped up in a blanket, staring vacantly out her window. She misses him, but not as much as she expected she would, and not as much as she knows she should. _

_ But still. Its guilt that’s been keeping her locked away in her apartment. It’s the not-knowing what awful fate he might be condemned to out there, lost and alone in the darkness of outer space, that keeps her up at night. _

_ Then she looks up as she hears a knock, and she knows who it is, immediately. She can hear Lena’s heartbeat, racing much quicker than usual, stumbling in an uneven, faltering rhythm, can hear the shaky draw of air in and out of Lena’s lungs. _

_ Lena has shown up almost every single day, unrelenting in her persistence and dedication. Kara knows she must feel guilty because she knows Lena too well to assume otherwise. _

_ She doesn’t blame Lena, but she hasn’t felt ready to talk to anyone since she sent him away. Not even Alex. _

_ But now, suddenly, she’s craving Lena’s presence, her embrace, her voice that lulls all her pain away. _

_ She shakes off her blanket cocoon and walks over to the door, and swings it open. _

_ And sure enough, Lena is standing there, clutching a bouquet of flowers. She looks startled like she didn’t expect Kara to answer. _

_ “Hey,” Kara says. The word sounds hoarse with lack of use, scraping her throat as she releases it. _

_ “Hey.” Lena’s voice is quiet. “Sorry if I’ve been overstepping, or anything, stopping by so much, I just wanted to check on you.” _

_ “It’s alright, I appreciate it.” Kara clears the rust from her throat. “Thank you.” _

_ “Well, I suppose I should leave you be.” Lena hands her the bouquet.  _

_ Kara accepts the flowers, and reaches out and clasps Lena’s wrist with her hand before she can walk away. “Stay with me. Please.” _

_ Kara knows her voice sounds pleading, and she knows she should be stronger, but right now she needs Lena more than ever. _

_ Lena’s eyes flick down to the snowy white flowers - plumerias, Kara realizes - then back up at Kara, and she smiles gently, and Kara reads her answer in her face and sees it in her warm, sympathetic gaze. _

_ When she steps back into her cold, dark, silent apartment, Lena’s there by her side. _

_ And when she collapses into the couch, shaking, Lena wraps her up in a blanket and pulls her close, and holds her while she falls apart. _

  


The sun is rising, bathing everything in dark red light. Lena stands on her balcony and looks out over the mountains, peaks piercing skyward in the distance.

Far away. So far away.

Somewhere out there, is a place called National City, where she once called home. The place where her heart still resides, even after all these years.

She sighs and looks down at her wrist. She still has the signal watch. She hasn’t had the heart, all these long years, to throw it away, to burn it, to dispose of it. So instead it’s just been clasped there all these years, a constant and agonizing reminder of what she lost.

She doesn’t hate Kara. Not anymore. The burning, searing anger that drove her away from National City has faded, replaced with a constant ache of regret for what they could’ve had.

She wishes she could just forget Kara, wishes her wounds would finally heal. But she knows only one person can possibly heal her, and it’s the same person who broke her heart in the first place.

She wants to leave Kara in her past.

But some people impact you, impact your life in such a way that you can never truly leave them behind.

_ It’s late at night, and Lena can see stars twinkling outside, and can feel a cool night breeze whisk over her. It smells like moonlight and hope. _

_ She twists around, tangled up in a blanket that smells like warmth and safety, like Kara, and leans her head into the space between Kara’s neck and her shoulder. Kara’s arms wrap around her, enveloping her in warmth. _

_ She isn’t quite sure how to describe what she and Kara are now. They’re no longer just best friends, but Lena isn’t sure where they stand beyond that. _

_ All she knows is that she doesn’t want to discuss it, doesn’t want to force it, this beautiful, fragile thing that could break apart in a heartbeat. She knows it won’t be forever; nothing good ever is, at least not for her. She knows she won’t have a happy ending. _

_ But now, she mine as well just enjoy this. _

_ Her heart somersaults in her chest as she feels Kara’s lips press against her neck. Warmth seeps through her veins and spreads through her body and limbs, radiating from the place where Kara’s lips meet her skin. She sighs in contentment and cuddles closer, wrapped up in warmth and security and love. _

_ It can’t be forever. She knows someday Kara will move on and forget her. But for now, it’s more than enough. _

It’s a strange twist of fate, or maybe just dumb luck, that finally brings them back together. It’s a simple event that spirals out into insanity.

National City is holding a huge climate change convention, and when Kara hears about it, her stomach twists itself up into knots. 

Because she knows who might just show up. 

Lena was always interested in climate change back when she lived in National City. She would tell Kara about it on their lunch dates, talk animatedly about all her ideas on how to help save their planet. When Kara would swoop by to check on her and find her fallen asleep at her desk, she would step inside and wrap her up in her arms, and she would organize all her papers, on climate change and world hunger, on everything her board didn’t want her to do, all the ways she could do good in the world.

She was, she is one of the brightest minds, brightest hearts, brightest lights in the world.

Kara’s whole body aches as she wonders for the millionth time how she could have let someone so smart and kind and good and  _ perfect  _ slip through her fingers.

She doesn’t have time to devote to grieving, however, because her work-load as Supergirl is getting more and more over-bearing, Now, she’ll be out all day, extinguishing fires, stopping robberies, catching aliens, stopping prison riots, and she barely has enough time to breathe. She hardly has time anymore to stop in at Catco, and when she does, it’s just enough to ask for an assignment from James and rush out again. She doesn’t sleep at night, but then again, that’s nothing particularly new; whenever she tries to sleep, she just ends up staring at the ceiling, tormented by the anguish in her heart. So in a strange way, it’s kind of a relief to have so much work to do, so she can’t focus on her broken heart.

But Alex finds it concerning, that so much crime has started breaking out in National City out of the blue. And eventually, when everything starts getting so bad that even Kara can’t fly fast enough to handle it all, she knows something is wrong as well.

But there’s no connection. Even Winn, resident genius of the DEO, can’t find one. And if he can’t, who possibly could?

It sets Kara’s nerves on edge, knowing something is wrong but being unable to pinpoint exactly what. And what scares her the most is that if Lena braves returning to National City to go this conference, she might get roped right up into this danger.

After all, people love to target a Luthor, even one who has only devoted her entire life to helping and healing. Even one whose heart was broken beyond repair by the one person she thought she could trust above anyone else.

Kara hovers over L-Corp, looking down at the top office where Lena once worked so proudly, so diligently, in her fight to redeem her family’s name and turn her brother’s twisted company into something positive. The youngest Luthor had so many plans with L-Corp, so much she wanted to do. But now she’s far away, doing all of that at a different branch L-Corp in another city. By now, she’s probably moved on from Kara in the way Kara has never really been able to move on from her. 

_ “How could you?!” _

_ Kara’s heart is breaking apart inside of her, into a thousand tiny shards that slice her apart from the insides and leave her bleeding out onto the smooth tile, as she faces Lena. _

_ “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, and she knows it’s not enough, but it’s all she can manage to get out through the lump choking in her throat. _

_ Lena lets out a scoffing sound, and somehow this hurts worse than the yelling and the anger, because Kara has heard it so many times, has seen that cold contempt in Lena’s gaze, but never, ever, not once directed at her. _

_ “I should have told you so much sooner, I know,” Kara says quietly. “But I was so… scared.” _

_ “Of what, how I would retaliate?” Lena retorts. “Did you think my Luthor genes would just suddenly shine through and I would start trying to take over the world or something?” _

_ “No!” Kara cries, stricken at the very suggestion. “No, I know you would _ never  _ do anything like that. I was just scared… of losing you.” _

_ “Oh, really?” Lena crosses her arms, and the anger and heartbreak warring in her red-rimmed eyes and spilling across her face makes Kara want to hide somewhere far away and never return.  _

_ “It was one thing when we were just best friends, but now…” Lena shakes her head. “How could you keep it from me for so long? I trusted you with everything, I loved you more than anyone else, and you betrayed me!” _

_ Lena’s words hurt worse than any Kryptonite, like daggers piercing her heart and magma churning in her blood, like the deadly green poison of her destroyed planet has been injected into her body and is now rushing through every vein and nerve in her body. All she can do is stare hopelessly into Lena’s eyes, which are shimmering with a haze of tears.. She looks so distraught and so enraged, and above it all, she looks so  _ broken.

_ “Lena - “ Kara says helplessly. She wants to defend herself, but she can’t find the words. ‘“I should have told you so long ago, but I - I knew I would be breaking your heart, and I knew that if I betrayed you, you would never forgive me, and I just… I can’t lose you. I can’t live without you.” _

_ And as she says it, she realizes with harsh, piercing agony how true that is. Lena has become an inseparable part of her over the years, woven into her very heart and soul. Kara lost Krypton so long ago, but now she’s found a new home in Lena’s heart. _

_ She can’t live without her. _

_ But now, thanks to her own stupid mistake, she might have to. _

  


Lena knew returning to National City would be painful. She just didn’t realize quite how painful.

As she walks through the streets on her way to the conference, not far from the airport, attracting stares and whispers from every direction, all she can think about is that everything she sees reminds her of Kara.

She passes a park near L-Corp where she and Kara spent many hours together on their lunch breaks, wandering down the paths, eating together on the benches, talking about everything and laughing about nothing.

There’s the place where she and Kara went so often for potstickers and Chinese food, Kara’s beloved indulgence, and nearby, the place where Lena forced Kara to try a kale smoothie for the first time.

It’s one long memory lane, and it’s completely excruciating.

Then Lena has to stop short when she sees Catco, looming tower of glass and steel. Kara’s workplace.

The emotions boiling inside of her, raging in her heart, are almost too painful to contain, threatening to burst out her in a flood of tears and heartbreak, so she shoves them down and pushes on.

For the rest of her walk, she stares down at her phone, both unable and unwilling to go through the pain of remembering everything. But just being back in National City makes all her wounds feel as fresh and raw as the day Kara first ripped them open.

National City itself seems to have a distinctive heartbeat, a pulse of life and warmth. Lena remembers when she first arrived, how the air smelled like hope and new beginnings. And Kara seemed to encompass all of that; She was walking sunshine, blinding light, shining past Lena’s walls and washing away all the darkness and pain inside, forcing her to open up, to be vulnerable. 

Thanks to Kara, Lena learned what true love felt like - and then it slipped through her fingers in a blink, lost in the endless chasm of a broken heart.

The distance is short, and yet the walk still seems to take eternities. Eventually, though, Lena reaches the convention. A massive, milling crowd of people have gathered, but now they’re just huddled in small groups, talking in low voices, looking anxious and confused.

She looks down at her phone and realizes she’s ten minutes late and looks up with a frown. Why does it seem like she’s early instead of…

Then her thoughts trail off as a blur of crimson catches her eye. She looks up and immediately regrets it as she sees the familiar figure silhouetted against the sun’s blinding rays, and the dark red cape billowing out behind her.

The sight awakens a raging storm inside of her. Agonizing anguish wars with an inferno of rage as long-buried emotions are dragged violently to the surface. But beneath it all, Lena can’t deny the ache of longing deep in the pit of her stomach that the sight of Kara still evokes. And she can’t deny the warm, wanting feeling that stirs in her beaten, damaged heart.

She still loves Kara, despite the decade of pain they’ve spent apart. Because Kara was special to her in a way nobody else has ever been or ever will be. 

She still holds a special place in Lena’s heart.

Lena gazes up at her former best friend and lover, the person, or rather, Kryptonian who was her whole world, and wonders if she’s looking back.

_ Everyone is laughing and smiling, all around her. The whole apartment practically radiates life. _

_ Nobody’s criticizing her for the casual clothes she’s wearing, or snapping at her for her posture or for wasting her time on such frivolous activities. Nobody around is making it their prime objective to make her miserable. _

_ This is a family where everyone lifts each other up when they’re lost in the dark. This is a family where everyone cares. _

_ And at the center of all this brightness and warmth is the host of the party, leaning against kitchen counter with Alex beside her, laughing at something Winn said. _

_ Her loose curls tumble over her shoulders in a cascade of golden waves. Her blue eyes are sparkling behind the frames of her glasses. _

_ She’s so stunning it takes Lena’s breath away every time she looks at her. She’s radiance and she’s the light to Lena’s darkness, and she’s everything that makes Lena happy, wrapped up in one beautiful package. _

_ Then Kara looks over at her, and Lena’s cheeks flush as she realizes she just got caught blatantly staring. But Kara only smiles at her, in that way that makes her nose crinkle up, in that way that makes Lena feel valued and respected and loved, which is everything she’s been deprived of for so long. _

_ Kara makes Lena feel like maybe, just maybe, she deserves all this. Deserves a family who cares about her like the Luthors never did. Deserves to be loved. _

_ Thanks to her, Lena is able to see so much more good in all the people around her, and thanks to her, she’s able to see good in herself. _

_ Thanks to her, she feels happy. _

_ Thanks to her, she feels appreciated. Thanks to her, she feels loved. _

  


Kara can see her, waiting with the others. Part of her wants to soar down and wrap Lena in her arms, and fold her up in the dark red fabric of her cape, and tell her that she still loves her, and kiss her until all the pain fades away.

And the other part of her wants to whirl around and fly as far away as possible.

So she just hovers there, doing neither, frozen in place, her cape snapping behind her. Lena has her head tilted back, and she’s looking up at Kara. 

Kara wonders what she’s thinking. She wonders if Lena’s still angry, and still hurting. She must be.

She wonders if Lena still loves her, even though she knows she has no right to even consider that possibility.

Then, before she can even begin to sort out the complicated feelings wrestling in her heart, an explosion goes off nearby.

And then, everything goes horribly wrong.

Suddenly, gunshots are going off, and bombs are exploding everywhere, and smoke clogs the air, and bursts of flame are erupting in starbursts of sparks.

Instinct kicks in and Kara rushes down to help. Frigid ice crystals curl their icy grasp around orange and yellow dancing light, vanquishing their age-old opponent. The icy cold sensation burns Kara from the inside, spreading up her throat and down her limbs, as she exhales her freeze-breath all over everything.

Once the worst of the fires have been extinguished, Kara strains for Alex’s voice in her ear, and sure enough, Alex’s panicked voice bursts over the intercom.

“Kara, what’s going on?”  
“I don’t know, everything just…” Kara looks around hopelessly, at the minefield of broken rock and burning flame and people crying out for help. “Exploded. And guns were being fired, and…”

“I’ll be there, soon Kara,” Alex says, in a voice of barely suppressed fear. “Try and clear the rubble from the explosions. If there’s any on the streets, take care of that first, so medics and ambulance have a clear path to get there. And try and pull any survivors out of the wreckage, and fly the worst of the injured to the hospital.”

Even as Alex speaks, Kara’s already leaping into action in a blur. She already knows exactly what to do, having gone through the same procedure a hundred times over, but hearing Alex’s sharp, clear commands help her keep her focus, despite the panic raging inside of her.

Lena. Kara knows everyone around her needs her help, but really all she can think about is Lena.

Thankfully the road wasn’t actively mined with bombs, which helps, but burning wreckage is strewn across the dark surface.

Kara works as quickly as she can, extinguishing the fire and flinging aside the rubble, then leaps up into the sky to scan over the wreckage. When she sees the extent, her heart plunges. 

But she can’t afford to drown in despair, so she swoops down and starts moving the rubble, the broken rock and bent steel, aside, and flies the victims away to the nearest hospital, which thankfully is close by.

There are so many people… but not as many as it seems like there should be.

And Lena is conspicuously absent.

“Kara.” Winn’s voice breaks in over her intercom, and she raises her head, both hoping for good news but dreading the worst.

“We think that all the explosions and gunshots were just a diversion so that they could kidnap their real targets,” Winn says.

Trying  _ very  _ hard not to think about Lena’s absence, Kara asks, “Who’s they?”

“Who knows?” Winn replies in exasperation. ‘Maybe some extremist climate change deniers, maybe some mysterious terrorist group. The point is, we caught some surveillance camera footage of a large group of black trucks fleeing the wreckage, and that seems like a very suspicious coincidence, doesn’t it?”

“Can you track them?” Kara asks.

“I’ll get to work on it,” Winn replies.

“And…” Kara’s almost scared to ask her next question, but she does it anyway. “Do you know who… who was kidnapped?”  
“No, but we’re trying to find out.” Winn answers.

“Alright, thanks.”

Kara fights the urge to sink down to her knees and never get up again. She tries to convince herself that maybe, maybe Lena wasn’t kidnapped. That maybe she just ran away, escaped the chaos.

But Kara knows Lena all too well. And Kara knows that if Lena was in a decent-enough shape to run, she would have stayed instead, helping the injured.

She wouldn’t have fled like prey from a predator.

So either Lena is buried far underneath the ground, or she’s been kidnapped. Kara can’t decide which is worse.

She closes her eyes briefly, so unbelievably scared at that moment she can barely breathe. It was one thing, having Lena so far away, but at least then Kara still knew she was alive, her heart still beating, but now… Kara has no way of knowing.

She swallows hard knowing she can’t allow herself to give up yet. Too many lives depend on her.

So she flies back to the DEO and prays that it’s not too late to save her.

_ Kara can barely breathe. Lena’s laying so still, so limp in her arms, like a ragdoll dressed in black. She’s dying, Kara knows she’s dying, and somehow she feels like she’ll never be able to fly fast enough to save her. _

_ She lands heavily in the DEO, and watches, so scared she can’t even think, as Alex and the other DEO agents and medics lay her on a stretcher and crowd around her. _

_ What type is the poison? Kara can only answer helplessly that she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know, she doesn’t know how to save her. _

_ All the lights on the screen and the single word Kara can see, burned into her eyes - failing. Lena’s health is failing, and she’s dying, and Kara can do nothing but watch. _

_ Then Alex is telling her to induce hypothermia, and finally, finally, something Kara can do. _

_ Watching Lena lay on that table as the freeze-breath sinks in is the most terrifying thing Kara’s ever experienced. Her whole body is practically vibrating, and she’s frantically whispering under her breath, watching waiting, hardly breathing. _

_ Then Lena’s condition blinks from critical to normal, and relief crashes over Kara in a tremendous wave, making her whole body go almost numb. _

_ Kara gazes down at her best friend’s unconscious body and exhales slowly. Lena’s okay. She’ll live. _

_ Kara can’t even imagine her world without Lena in it. She doesn’t even want to try. So instead she just clasps Lena’s hand in hers and holds on for dear life, and silently promises to never let her go. _

  


Lena opens her eyes, and immediately all she can see is darkness. She tries to move and finds she’s confined by heavy silver chains that clink and rattle as she shifts uncomfortably, locked in their freezing embrace.

She knows she can’t struggle her way free, so instead, she looks around, trying desperately to make out any detail of her surroundings, but she sees nothing.

“Hello?” she calls into the dark.

“Don’t bother.” says a voice nearby.

“Yeah, nobody’s come for hours. They’ll probably just leave us to die.” says another voice.

“Who’s they?” Lena asks in a guarded voice.

One of the voices laugh. “Honey, how would we know? We’re in the dark just like you are!”

Somebody else chuckles at this joke, though Lena doesn’t find it particularly amusing.

Then, she freezes as she hears footsteps, and a moment later fluorescents blaze to life overhead.

Lena leans forward and looks around. She, along with five or six other people, are chained and shackled to the wall, in a small room lined with steel tables, which are strewn with various pamphlets. Papers are tacked to the walls, and as Lena looks closer, she sees that they’re letters, ripped at the edges and riddled with stab holes. Then she sees a picture of an earth melting, and a huge dark red X painted over it, and barely suppresses a burst of laughter.

_ Oh. My. God. They’re just climate change deniers! Climate change deniers who feel the need to blow things up and kill and kidnap people, but just deniers all the same. _

“Seems a bit extreme, doesn’t it?” she asks casually as a few men dressed in all black walk in. “Mercilessly slaughtering people just because they’re scared about the future of our world.”

“You’re all whining brats who just want attention.” one of the men says gruffly. “And you deserve to be shut up before you whip the whole world into a frenzy.”

“Yeah, but was destroying public property and shooting a bunch of people, not to mention ripping entire families apart, really worth your petty worldview?” Lena asks, raising an eyebrow.

To her satisfaction, she sees that the men look vaguely uncomfortable.

“Why did you take us in particular?” another prisoner asks, leaning forward and yanking on his restraints in vain. Lena has to admire that he’s still struggling even though it’s futile, but he’s wasting his energy.

“Because you’re rich, and you’re important to the cause.” replies one of the men with a shrug. “You stand for everything we want to tear down.”

“I feel so valued,” Lena says sardonically, leaning back against the wall. She doesn’t particularly feel scared. They’re just a rogue terrorist gang armed with a few bombs and a misdirected sense of anger, and besides, she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Supergirl will come and save her and all the other prisoners and shut down these people once and for all.

That thought shouldn’t be comforting, given their tangled, broken history and the decade they’ve spent apart, given how Kara broke Lena’s heart in such a way that it’s been impossible ever since to fit the pieces back together, but somehow it still is.

The tension drains from Lena’s muscles. Maybe she can’t do anything to stop these morons, chained up and weaponless as she is, but she knows someone who can. She looks down at her wrist and sees that they took her signal watch, clearly anticipating some clever trick. But she knows Kara will still come. Because even after a decade apart, a decade of pain, Lena still believes in the Girl of Steel. Her Girl of Steel.

As the men retreat with a few last angry words and plunge the room into darkness once again, Lena leans back and stares up at the ceiling, and for the first time in ten years, she admits to herself how much she’s missed Kara, how, as all her anger has slowly melted away, it’s just left an aching chasm of longing and regret no amount of work and alcohol has ever been able to fill. She finally admits that she still loves Kara, with all the broken pieces of her heart that still remain sheltered in the alcove of her chest.

She sighs, closes her eyes, and waits.

Waiting for the Kryptonian who will always, whether as Kara Danvers or as Supergirl, be her one and only hero.

_ Lena’s heart lurches as she hears the cracking and breaking of concrete, and she spins around. _

_ Then a wave of warmth sweeps over her as she recognizes Supergirl’s icy blue eyes and determined expression, and the crest of the House of El firmly blazing across her chest. _

_ Flanked on all sides by her kidnappers and enemies, Lena still feels hope light up inside of her. “Supergirl, I can’t believe you’re here!” _

_ “Kara Danvers believes in you,” Supergirl says. _

_ The simple words make Lena’s heart practically float right out of her chest. ‘Kara Danvers believes in you.’ _

_ Somehow, it means so much more than either Supergirl or Kara will ever know, coming from the lips of National City’s own hero. _

_ Supergirl is here because of Kara, Lena’s warm, gentle, smart, beautiful friend, who Lena is already completely enamored with. _

_ She’s known it was hopeless ever since the day Kara first walked in through that door. _

_ And now Supergirl is here, because Kara kept her faith in Lena, despite all the evidence stacked against her. _

_ Locked in the warehouse, surrounded by danger, Lena can barely keep the smile off her lips. _

  


The wind whips at Kara’s cape and hair as she stands on the DEO balcony, her eyes closed, her head tilted ever so slightly. Listening.

The cacophony of sounds assaults her ears: the wail of sirens, multiplied tenfold due to the chaos of the day, the honk of cars and the scream of children and the sound of footsteps and voices and heartbeats and shouts and sobs, of car wheels screeching, and water splashing, all clashing together into a broken melee of noise.

But then Kara detects it, beneath everything else. The steady thump of Lena’s heart, the sound that for so long, she hadn’t been able to hear, no matter how long and how hard she listens,

She blinks open her eyes, and now, for the first time in a decade, she can hear Lena’s heart beating clearly in her ears, a guiding light leading her right to the owner herself.

She turns as she hears footsteps, and Alex jogs up to her. “Kara, we tracked the vehicles. Apparently this group or whatever is holed up in some huge abandoned factory complex off the freeway leading out of National City. I’m going to assemble a strike team to help you out, but we might not get there in time.” she clasps Kara’s hand in hers. “Look, I know you’re anxious about Lena, but please…. Please be careful. Don’t let the way you feel about her lead you to make reckless decisions.”

Kara nods, barely even listening, and launches herself into the sky. She can still hear Lena’s heartbeat, and the familiar sound pulses steadily in her ears, lending strength to her limbs and courage to her heart. She will save her. She has to.

She refuses to fail Lena again.

The flight to the factory is short, especially with the adrenaline flowing through her veins.

She pauses when she reaches the factory, hovering overhead, and activates her X-ray vision. It takes her about two seconds to notice the small room lined entirely in lead, a kind of off-shoot from the rest of the factory, the rest of which is almost completely deserted, save for a light scattering of people. Kara doesn’t really pay them any mind; she can tell none of them are Lena.

_ Could you have made it more obvious if you tried?  _ Kara wonders, almost amused.

Not bothering with stealth, she crashes straight through the ceiling, breaking concrete and plaster, and lands with a heavy thud on the ground, and when she looks up, she finds herself staring right into Lena’s stunning eyes.

“Supergirl!” comes an eruption of cheers from the other prisoners. But Lena is silent, her eyes fixated on Kara’s like she’s the only person that’s ever existed, and for a moment everything comes to a standstill, and all Kara can hear is the sound of Lena’s heart, and all she can see is the hazy beauty of Lena’s eyes… 

Until she hears the running footsteps and hears Lena scream a warning, but it’s too late.

Some strange kind of energy, almost like electricity, but not quite, starts racing up and down Kara’s limbs, and she crashes to her knees as agony contorts her muscles in odd jerking spasms.

“You thought it would be easy, didn’t you?” asks a voice. Kara is vaguely aware that someone is crying out in pain, and she thinks it’s probably her.

Then the pain lets up, and Kara struggles to her knees, blinking black spots from her eyes.

She slowly rises to her feet, and turns unsteadily on the spot to her face her enemies, swaying, only to be struck straight in the heart by a beam of searing dark red energy, like nothing else she’s ever seen. She falls to her knees, shuddering in agony.

Then, suddenly, the ground starts shaking, and she hears several loud snapping sounds, and her eardrums start vibrating. The pain contorting her body eases away, and she blinks her eyes open.

When she regains her wits about her, she sees her attackers curled up on the ground, clutching their ears, their guns abandoned on the ground.

Then she spins around and sees the six prisoners lying in crumpled heaps, groaning, their shackles broken. Lena is kneeling on the ground, wincing and clutching her head with one hand. In the other, she holds a strange silver contraption.

Kara looks at her, then at the device, and frowns.. “Wait, did you do - whatever that was?”

“It was some kind of sonic wave.” one of the other prisoners says in a rasping voice. “Umm, but those ass-holes are going to get up soon, so you should probably deal with them.”

Kara whips around, and as quick as lightning, she crushes the strange energy-blasting gun under her boot and knocks out the one guy who’s managing to rise to his feet with a swift punch.

Then she turns around and sees Lena smiling up at her, looking breathless, and for the first time in an eternity, everything stops hurting.

The thunder of footsteps breaks the spell, and Kara whirls around and comes face-to-face with Alex.

Alex raises her gun, then drops it when she recognizes her sister. “Supergirl, you’re alright!”

“Of course I am.” Kara nudges one of her attackers with her boot. “These morons might not be, though.”

Alex steps back to examine the men crumpled up in heaps of black fabric. “Nice job.”

“Oh, that wasn’t me,” Kara says. She looks over her shoulder and sees Lena watching Alex with a wary expression. “That was Lena.”

Surprise flashes across Alex’s face as she looks at Lena, then is replaced by a look of fear. “Oh, god. Lena - “

Kara spins around as Lena’s eyelids flutter closed and she collapses silently on the ground, her fingertips wet with blood as they drop away from the side of her head.

Kara inhales sharply and rushes to Lena’s side.

“The sonic wave must have injured her worse than anyone else since she was the one holding the device.” says one of the other prisoners, wincing.

Kara gently lifts Lena up and cradles her in her arms, then turns to Alex, her stomach churning. “We have to get her back to the DEO.”

_ Kara bursts into the hospital room, her heart pounding a million miles a minute. _

_ A wave of relief sweeps over her as she sees that Lena is sitting up, looking fully conscious, and not even lost under the haze of drugs. _

_ Kara rushes over and practically tackles her in a hug, though she does try to remember to be gentle.  _

_ “Ow. Hi, you.” Lena says, laughing. _

_ “Could you just stop getting yourself hurt for maybe two seconds?” Kara asks indignantly. _

_ “Hey, it’s not my fault I got stabbed.” Lena gingerly touches her side, where Kara can see the rigidness of bandages showing through the pale white of her gown. _

_ Kara sighs and pulls away. She searches Lena’s eyes, and sees that beneath the exterior of laughter and humor, there’s a great deal of pain, and not the physical kind. _

_ “Who stabbed you?” Kara asks, her voice vibrating with barely suppressed anger. _

_ Lena sighs. “They’re locked up already, Kara. You don’t need to worry.” _

_ “I’m not worried,” Kara says, gritting her teeth. “I just want to go give them a beating they won’t forget.” _

_ “Woah, gentle there.” Lena reaches up and brushes her fingertips across Kara’s cheek, effectively diffusing her anger. But she still feels the heat brewing in the pit of her stomach. Yet again, somebody targeted Lena just because she’s a Luthor, even though she’s done nothing but help since her arrival in National City, and even before that too, Kara is sure. Lena Luthor has been and always will be a beacon of light, for Kara and so many other people, regardless of whether they notice it or not. _

_ “I know you’re very strong, but you’re not quite strong enough to deal with a ten-foot-tall block of muscle wielding a knife,” Lena says, touching her injury again and letting out a hiss through gritted teeth. _

_ “How do you know what I’m capable of?” Kara protests, ignoring the pang of guilt that pierces her straight through her heart at the secret she’s still keeping. _

_ Lena gives her a look. “Kara, sweetheart, I love you, and you are the most wonderful person I know, but you don’t have superstrength.” _

_ Another agonizing pang slices through her, and she wants to spill her secret right there and then. But something tells her now isn’t the right time. _

_ She ignores the nagging voice in her head that asks her,  _ Will there ever be a right time if you keep delaying it?

_ Instead, she just leans in and kisses Lena, as if to make up for all the lies she can’t seem to stop telling, to make up for the way she’s betraying Lena every single day. _

_ Normally, kissing Lena is her favorite sensation ever, but now it just makes her feel sick. She may have superstrength and be able to fly, but she isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to escape the hole she’s steadily digging herself deeper into every day. _

When Lena wakes, her head is pounding ferociously, and she’s staring straight into familiar cerulean eyes.

Her breath catches, and she pulls away instinctively her heart hammering.

Kara immediately jerks back, and a wave of guilt sweeps over her face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be here.” she stammers. “But I had to thank you. You saved me.”

“That’s what we do,” Lena says, touching her fingertips to her throbbing temple. Her whole head hurts, and she feels sick to her stomach. “We save each other.”

Kara bites her lip. “You’re not… are you still angry at me? I mean… if you are, I understand, and I’ll leave you alone.”

Lena hesitates. There are several words she wants to say, but they’re all getting tangled and caught up in her throat, and she can’t seem to get them out.

She wants to say that maybe she still hasn’t fully forgiven Kara, but that she wants to try, and that running away from her problems instead of facing them just made everything worse. She wants to say how much she’s missed Kara, all these years, but that wouldn’t be right.

She wants to tell Kara that she still loves her, but it’s far too soon to say anything like that. She can’t say that now, not when there’s the gap of a life-time spanning between them, not when a world of heart-ache and betrayal lies under their feet, not when a web of lies and darkness stretches between their hearts, not when they’re balanced only ever so precariously on the trembling threads.

But maybe there’s still a chance for them, for a fresh start. They’ll have to learn each other all over again, and Lena’s okay with that. They don’t have to regain what they once had, which was twisted up in lies and steeped in the darkness of betrayal. But they can start something brand new, here, now.

She gazes into Kara’s cerulean eyes, which have completely enraptured her ever since the first day she saw them, and finds herself still drowning in the depths of her sky-blue irises like nothing’s changed at all.

“I’m not angry at you anymore,” she says slowly, carefully choosing her words. “And I’m willing to stay in National City and try to rebuild… everything, if you are.”

Kara’s whole face lights up like the sun, and Lena can’t help the way her heart flutters in her chest. “Of course I am,” Kara says with that gentle smile that still sends warmth cascading through Lena’s body.

Lena can see a brighter future shining in Kara’s eyes and gleaming in her sparkling smile, and for the first time since she found out the truth, Lena allows herself to hope.

  


**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a song called Erase You by Catrien, so if you're feeling angsty you should listen to it because it's really sad and always makes me think of this ship.


End file.
